Jerusalem Beats by Dr Dre
by Hula
Summary: Once upon a time, in a hotel room in Uganda, the Jerusalem High Glee Club was preparing for the international competition. They decided that this year they would do original songs, but to do so, they needed to experiment new things...


A/N : Me and my friends have fun. lol.

* * *

Once upon a time, in a hotel room in Uganda, the Jerusalem High Glee Club was preparing for the international competition. They decided that this year they would do original songs, but to do so, they needed to experiment new things...

It would have been nice for Abby Lincoln to sing about other stuff than the dresses he wore while crossdressing and his promiscuous sexual encounters with senior citizens.

Dorian Gray had brought Jack Dawson's painting of himself and a pink dandy strap-on.

Shannon Beiste of course brought her tube socks and a shit load of juicy chickens.

Madonna was sitting in her corner of the room disgusted by everyone's sexuality and writing a song about how awesome it is to be a virgin; a flower beneath dandelions.

Finally, Effy Stonem had blue streaks in her hair and she was always naked but she did not know why but she assumed it was because all the boys liked her and the girls liked her even more because she was bisexual. But she didn't like to kiss girls, EW!

And now, let's follow our heroes in their dramatic and painful adventures while they're writing songs and experimenting their painful and excruciating life and full of pain. Lol!

CHAPTER ONE

Shannon, was crying, as always. She dried her tears of blood with her lucky tube socks. Her husband Cooter gave them to her after he masturbated in them. She could still smell the sweet odor of his man juice. Shannon could even smell the proteins evaporating against her hot cheeks, stained with her blood from her tears. She was sad because Madonna was getting all the solos. She wanted to get a revenge.

The football coach had a plan. After she finished cleaning the blood flowing from her wrists, she decided it was time to put it to action. When it was midnight, she slipped into Madonna's bed with a few of her chickens. Madonna was a heavy sleeper so it would be easy to get the chickens in her while she slept. It will be so funny in the morning when she wakes up lol.

Shannons didn't even feel bad so she wrote her original song.

_The chickens from my heart,_

_Entering you_

_Eating you_

_Filling you._

_It was funny when you wooooke up! _

_LOOOOOL_

_LOOOOOOOOOOOOL_

_I'm happy because you're SAAAAD_

_I'm laughing_

_HAHA_

_CHICKENS_

_IN_

_MADONNAAAAAAA!_

CHAPTER 2

The next morning, Madonna woke up feeling her menstrual blood clots against the walls of her unspoiled vagina. This clot was bigger than usual. She slid a hand in herself and tasted it with her tongue... MMMMM BBQ Sauce! Last time was vanilla. Her vagina was full of surprises, a 10 year old asian kid was crawled out of her vajayjay begging to go to Chuck-e-Cheese. But when she removed her clot, she saw that it had a weird shape. ''Mmm, why not take a bite?'' It tasted like chicken, because it was a whole chicken!

Horrified, she ran to the bathroom to see that her hymen was hanging, full of blood, from her huge oyster. She pulled on it and it teared away. She started to cry. ''NOOOO. Hymen! I loved you!'' She picked up a needle and sew it back with one of her blond hair. ''Just like new...'' She suddenly had her idea for her song.

_You were small, and sad,_

_hanging on the roof of a hole,_

_Waiting to die._

_Put I picked you up,_

_And put you back toghether._

_You were vast and strong,_

_Could've been a pillowcase_

_Or a bride's veil._

_Oh my dear friend,_

_Hang on there, stay here,_

_I'm a slut without you._

_HY, HY, HYMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN_

_HYMEN HYMEN HYMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN_

_I love you._

She went back in the room ''Who wants chicken? Fresh out of the oven!'' Beiste laughed melodramatically while she saw everyone taking a bite.

CHAPTER THREE

Dorian Gray was wearing a cockring made of the finest gold from Zimbabwe. He gently slipped his chicken piece on his powerful and manly boner and waited for someone who would bring him a pleasure he would not have experimented yet. Abby appeared dressed as Hannah Montana, wearing his favorite blonde wig and super high heels made of cougar leather. Dorian was standing next to his painting and started to caress himself, enjoying the last bit of BBQ sauce rolling on his dick. Everyone in the room was looking at him, except Madonna who was shouting '' Oh my fucking God it's zoophilic pedophilia, he was born this morning, you rapist!''

''YEAH, but I was born this way!'' he answered. Dorian wanted to try something, so he asked Effy to put on the dandyish pink strap-on he had brought. As she was entering in his wide open anus, Dorian felt that it increased his creativity, so he shouted his song's lyrics to Abby so he can write it down.

_Oh, pain, my ass wants more_

_PAIN_

_My painting is looking at me_

_Judging me_

_Licking my ass_

_Smiling_

_PAIN_

_I want my head in Madonna's pussy_

_So she can contract it_

_And make me eat_

_PAIN_

_Oh, my ass wants more _

_bareback DICKS_

_Fill me up, let's go_

_Everyone_

_Cum in me_

_PAIN_

_Lol_

CHAPTER FOUR

Effy finally removed the strap-on turned away from that cumslut Gray and said : ''Lincoln, FUCK ME!'' She teared his clothes apart, and started to blow him, but he was as hard as Madonna hymen (which is pretty slack). Mad as hell, she started to ride his big FEET. But even his toes lost their erections. ''Dude, are you gay?'' ''Hell yeah, motherfucker and my mom's dead!''

She cried and ran in the bathroom, she slipped on Madonna's vagina blood. She hit her head on the floor and she went. She pulled off one of her teeth and started cutting herself with it. ''Oh My God, let's write a song!'' with her blood she wrote on the wall:

_High on sex_

_High on seagull poop_

_High on a ladder_

_Hi_

CHAPTER 5

Abby was so fucking gay. Like, REALLY fucking gay. He even said so himself. But that's not the point. At all. Abby had been wondering how his pet shitsu, Skrillex, was doing back home. He was also trying to emit the theory that his top hat, no, MARVELOUS top hat had special dapper powers. So he tied his corset tighter to but the emphasis on his boobs and beard. What no one knew about him, while he was dyeing his hair purple to show off his natural curls, was that our dear Abraham, yes, Abraham, was actually a very intelligent and thinking person.

In his fire engine red stilletos, he would think about the freedom of the slaves in America (yea in dis ounnivearze de Slavez stil eckzizt kay). While he curled his beard braids, he would think about the institution of equal and proper rights for any and all americans.

Abby was actually much more than all the other degenerates in his high school glee club thought he was.

_A song for our President_

_GAY_

_SOOOOOOO GAAAAAAAY_

_SO FUCKING GAY_

_POLITICS_

_slaves_

_SLAVES_

_BIRDS_

_Hello, my name is Abraham Lincoln and..._

_I HUNT VAMPIRE DUCKS FOR A LIVING_

_ALSO_

_PHILOSOPHY_

_AND_

_POLITICS_

_AND_

_GAY_

_**THE END**_


End file.
